Late night thoughts

Hi there, it's not exactly late now but I guess it's pretty late for my brain to exert itself, trying so hard to find an exact word to describe how I'm feeling for the past few hours or rather with my life. It's to the point of me not knowing me anymore (if you actually get me)

I feel so tired at times like this b/c it's always an endless route to worries but never once an endless route to happiness. Why can't we have free flow of happiness instead? Life is short, said by many and we can decide how we want each day to pass (sad/happy) but how true is this sentence? I mean I can choose to be happy but there WILL ALWAYS BE factors that's affecting my mood. I'm willing to be positive but times when I'm trying? it turns out shitty and it just made me feel so.. out of place? like all I ever wanted was to be happy but why am I always surrounded by a clouds of worries?

Also, I hate how people has this "point of view" of me, thinking like I'm always happy so there's no reason for me being down BUT I'm only human, I do feel hurt ok. Let's put it this way, what do you exactly know about me? Just b/c I look happy doesn't means I'm not sad or troubled ok. And just because I look strong doesn't mean I'm unbreakable. Sometimes I put on a smile to prevent worries from whoever it is and to assure them but that doesn't mean one should take advantage of it?? It feels like wtv I do is just wrong and times when I tried to explain it? turns out to be me being the bad guy again. #whatsnew

Why do I always seem like I'm at the losing end? It's not as if I'm stress-free or whatsoever.. and it really got me wondering how some people out there can just ignore what they want to. I mean, don't you feel bothered by it? to me it's hard to actually ignore something completely esp things/people that matters so much to me.  Don't you think about how they feel? But yeah sometimes I wish I have the ability to actually ignore and see how many actually bother

Don't know what's up with this atmosphere but I just feel trapped.. feels like I'm about to explode with all the negativities. Maybe sometimes all I ever need is some moral support from people rather than getting blamed because I honestly am sick of getting blamed for n o t h i n g 

Maybe it's just me being emotional since it's the time of the month but this is exactly how I feel at some point in life. & if happiness can be bought, I'll pay wtv the amount to bring the current me back to the me in the pic below; at least I seem happier and more contented there

//Hopefully I'll get back to my usual self the next time I blog//
On a happier note: Meeting da boy later

Hello sunshine! I'm a lifestyle blogger that blogs about anything and everything I find it interesting or worth sharing with ☺ This is also where I document my interest for fashion, food and beauty. You can find out more by clicking here. Hope you enjoy your stay here! ☼

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